Drug Addiction

Colicchie

You see everybody got a story to tell
Well here's mine

My pain's deep, I have been through hell
I managed to survive so I got a story to tell
Listen, I stand victorious
Make the sign of the cross
Look I'm here to be the voice for every friend I ever lost
Let me pray as I put together my hands
I've never been ashamed to tell you the person I am
When it comes to doing drugs, I have never been a rookie
But hold up, let me tell you about the places that they took me
I haven't showered, it's been possibly a week
And I'm so deep in a psychosis, impossible to speak
The coke is in my arm, now it's impossible sleep
My throat's numb, closed shut, so it's impossible to eat
Losing weight's a part of my daily routine
I always use against my will, just praying I was clean
So nod your head if you understand what I mean
When I was growing up I never thought that I would be a fiend, ever
My life's tumultuous, it's never getting better
Another abscess from my arm is getting severed
My exquisite vision, depiction of dereliction
Livid living conditions, malicious on a mission
All these Green-tree cops, look they all know me by my first name
Paramedics had to revive me this ain't a game
I worn the same clothes for like the last ten days
And look I want to do better but I don't know a different way
Completely all alone, I'm sitting in this room
I empty out the bags, brown liquid in the spoon
I have to do a lot, can no longer do a little
The water's been added, I place the cotton in the middle
I'm sucking every drop up into this plastic device
As I'm tying off, I'm trying to find a decent vein to strike
I shove it ever so gently up underneath my skin
As I'm pulling back the plunger till there's blood in the syringe
I push it in and try to drift away to heaven
But criminals like me that's never the place that we're headed
The guilt, shame, remorse and regret I never address
And I'm a mess from all this pain and this anguish
I'm filled with stress, overdoses, I'm emotionally broken, this ain't a joke
I'm smoking on a Newport, I never have any hope
This is me, I'm feeling like I don't deserve more
I feel disgusted as I'm pushing on this burnt chore
Someone stole the vinegar in the midst of a black out
Another shooting gallery, another crack house
On the porch ''Welcome To Hell'' is on the floor mat
I'm glancing at my arms and all I ever see is sore tracks
I'm feeling filthy dirty needles with the orange cap
Peaking out the window, someone whispers ''Lock the door latch''
We're blasting off, departing from this mothership
I look around as others search the carpet for another hit
Crest whitening strips and Mach 3's
I'm on a suicidal mission till these cops try to stop me
We boosted everyday selling steaks for half price
Any dream I ever had was shattered by glass pipes
Glass rose, devil got my in his lasso
Entered the gates of hell and I didn't even have a pass-code
I'm hard headed, I will never learn my lesson
You know the drill, commit a crime, and get arrested
The misery never ends, I spend another week in jail
I don't have friends, family never paid my bail
So I would withdrawal and kick on that concrete floor
I feel like I've had enough but my body is screaming ''MORE''
The food is horrible, but I haven't eaten in days
No reason to call home cause I got nothing left to say
I'm tired of this jail, I don't ever want to see prison
Look I'm tired and exhausted from this life that I'm living
I would get a couple days clean, and say that I was done
But every time I got released I was back on the run
It's back to thieving, lying, robbing, and ripping, and running
These problems I don't solve them, I'm crippled and sick to my stomach
I hang with prostitutes and these deadly degenerates
I'm homeless for the moment, but that's really quite irrelevant
The only thing that matters in life is my next high
I got to be willing to change and give it my best try
I'm a servant and this heroin's my king
I'm feeling like a slave, as I dangle from these puppet strings
I'm just a marionette, I'm staring at death
As I am carrying regrets that are just tearing through my flesh
We're dealing with a topic we're so careless to neglect
We're dealing with a dilemma leaving every parent stressed
I'm so sick and tired though of being sick and tired
But then it finally happened, motivated by desire
I hit this point, I wanted to change, enough is enough
My efforts been exhausted and I'm tired of being stuck
My faith is never blind and my future I barely see
But overnight, was open minded I had this moment of clarity
So it begins and it's essential I believe
Cause if it worked for you, then it just has to work for me
Through all this pain, there's got to be a positive message
I talked about the past, now let's talk about the present
I'm no longer living that way, for me it's a blessing
But with one bad decision I am back in that obsession
In 03 was diagnosed with hepatitis C
I utilize the bad, it's always been the fuel for driving me
And then u ask me ''Why do I give this my all? ''
I'm not trying to see ''Rest In peace'' on my Facebook wall
I got clean in 05 and started rapping
I started touching lives, I never thought that this would happen
This shit today, trust me it isn't heroin
It's killing everybody and the comments are disparaging
No one cares or gives a fuck that I'm clean
For them another deadly overdose is just something to see
Look, I pay attention to every post that I read
As you are sitting there judging in front of your iPhone screen
Talking about these dying addicts and how they are worthless
And if they put a needle in their arm then they deserve it
But that's someone's Mother, someone's Uncle, someone's Daughter
And that's someone's Aunt, someone's Son and someone's Father
As I rap, this shit is giving me chills
And I am speaking off experience, that's how I know it's real
These ignorant motherfuckers will say it's not a disease
And look I really don't care, you can believe what you believe
I don't care to argue, I don't got to give you proof
Listen, I was taught you don't got to defend the truth
Incurable, progressive and fatal unless arrested
I'm expressing aggression with every sentiment confession
Once a junkie always a junkie, you're boring me
The last time I checked, there's one ultimate authority
I'm sick of these remarks and opinions from all these critics
Cause if you never lived it, then trust me you'll never get it
Be quite, you're not allowed to speak about it
If you've never lived it, then you're not allowed to speak about it
How often you forget, the only time that you should ever open your mouth is to eat a dick
Everybody is dying it makes me sick
This isn't a epidemic, this is more like an apocalypse
So when I struggle, it's only right that I fight
And my experience recites on how that diamond saved my life
Look, you don't got a clue what I've been through
When I was at my worst you couldn't walk a mile in my shoes
I survived a lot, so it's only right that I smile
And I'm aware of my surroundings, I'm no longer in denial
I'm blown away by every message that I get
It gives me motivation, it's the only reason I never quit
We got to do this together, we must trust
There's no you, there's no me, there's just us
I'm doing this with courage, I'm doing this with pride
I'm doing this for every single friend that's ever died
I dedicate this song to anyone that's lost a loved one
So live your life cause tomorrow may never come
Be grateful for your past, embrace it, don't get embarrassed
Everyday there is more children growing up without their parents
I felt pain, look I'm not afraid to cry
My life changed once I was willing to try
I've been giving many chances now it's truly do or die

I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high
I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high
I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high
I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high
I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high