Drug Of Choice

Yeah, uh-huh, colicchie
Let's get honest, I can't get you off my mind
Moving on and staying stuck is like I can just cannot decide
We made the perfect couple because we're both
One-of-a-kind. Yes, no. Well maybe. Should we give this another try?
I'm having trouble handling all these pictures I see online
So I close my eyes and drift away and just wish that I was blind
It might have work if we had met at a different time
But we'll never know
I've stopped looking for things I'll never find
I'm giving this my all as I'm trying to follow my calling
And as I am talking about the times I have triumphed, I have fallen

I try to smile but I'm not the one who pretend
And Look, I wrote you a million texts I just never hit send

And I'm not trying to hear that I'm better off without you
'Cause cleary you don't understand that there is something about you
I don't have the time
I'm busy digging an early grave
I sat around and waited for something that never came
I'm dead inside, I'm exhaling the coldest breath
It's hard to accept the present when your life is so full of regrets
At moments I just want to end it all
Diminish through the stress
But God will whisper quietly that he's not finished with me yet
But our relationship lately is non-existent
Because anything I ever talk about, I fear he doesn't listen
Am I being tested? Am I being heard?
The last time that I prayed I was yelling at the words
"Fuck you and this entire concept and this idea of love!"
Take me back to years ago, I like the way it was, back when everything was simple
No responsibilities
And now it's nothing but drama and honestly it is killing me
Silent screams turn into Survivor dreams
I always share my story but I'm as private as can be
I'm staring at this blank page like fuck it, it can write itself
I do this shit alone so fuck it I don't ever need your help
Forget it I don't need it
The struggles that I'm dealing with there has to be a
Meaning. And everything I'm going through there has to be a reason
Failure is the topic 'til the moment I succeeded
I told you from the gate
I would always be there by your side and even
Though we don't speak, what I said, it still applies
All these challenges with bridges I have crossed
It's crazy to think I can deal with
Death better than I can deal with loss

My listeners know more about me than my friends do
I've caused so much damage but I never really meant to
I never cared about opinions from anyone else but people have more
Faith in me than I have in myself
This is me I never plagiarized the script
Learning to love myself again has been my greatest gift

All these images of me and you, you and I
Regardless of what has happened, understand I truly tried

You're one of the most gorgeous girls that I have ever seen before
When it came to the attention, I was begging till my knees were sore
I gave you a piece of my heart. You gave me a piece of yours
Until we parted ways, both of us thinking that we needed more

Yes, I got you
I'm the one to defend your back
I will always be your number one fan, always remember that

I'm giving you the vision of a twisted
Manic depressive suppressing my confessions
Masochistic randomly Pleasant Expressions that are essential
My journey never was less than
Experiences, at first, convey it through my messages

You're special. Don't let anyone ever tell you any different
I promise you these intentions were good and never malignant
Be proud of yourself for everything you've fought through
The only thing that these other girls
Have in common is that they're not you
So go and get everything that you want and nothing less
Because you deserve the world, yeah, you deserve the best

These mistakes were only mine, and I own
Before I feel this pain again I'd rather die alone

You're the one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known

I travel such a dark, hideous, gruesome, and lonely road

I almost called you just to hear your voice
But then I threw the phone, saying "what's the point?"

No chemical could ever fill this void
Only you
'Cause you're my drug of choice