Becoming Myself

(альбом: Domo vs Domonique - 2020)

People tell me that I'm
Going to hell if I don't change
That liking the same sex is wrong
And really kinda strange
That I should find a man and possibly get engaged
Find a father for my son
And live holy, everyday
But they don't understand the pain that comes with those words
Should I listen to the world? Or should I put myself first?
I remember waking up from the pain and the hurt
Several suicide attempts
Cause I didn't know my worth
Popped pills behind the wheel my life I was fighting
Thank god I'm alive! Man I was only 19
Tried to go to church, but they told me I was wrong
Didn't feel like I belonged
So I took myself home
Anxiety if I die
Will I go to heaven? Does god love me? Even though I love women?
I remember crying in my car wanting to end it all
Then I thought about my future as I let my tears fall

Fast forward I'm engaged with a son
I learned to love myself and don't listen to anyone
This is for anyone
Who just doesn't feel supported
Give yourself time
You are freaking loved and so important
If you wanna cry it out, cry it out
It's okay!
No matter if you're straight, bi, trans, queer, or gay
You are worth it and you're beautiful
You're far from the usual
Your life is, oh, so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

15 years old
I wrote my mom a letter
It was National Coming Out day so I felt a little better
I said, if she loves me she will accept me for who I am
So I wrote her a note and left it on her nightstand
I said
Mommy I love you
Thank you for all you've done
I just wanna say I'm gay I don't wanna hurt anyone
I hope I didn't disappoint you
I hope you don't cry
I hope you still love me even though I don't like guys
I, ran away that day and didn't come back
My mom was calling my phone
Literally back to back
I thought that she was gonna hate me
I thought she was gonna curse
I called her up that night and asked her to meet me up at a church
Crying
Tears running down my face
She told me she loved me but it was wrong to feel this way
She told me that I'm young and I was going through a phase
That I should change my ways and that my life would be ok

Fast forward I'm engaged with a son
She loves her and my son
She's my supporter number one
This is for anyone
Who just doesn't feel supported
Give yourself time
You are freaking loved and so important
If you wanna cry it out, cry it out
It's okay!
No matter if you're straight, bi, trans, queer, or gay
You are worth it and you're beautiful
You're far from the usual
Your life is oh so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

Fast forward I'm as happy as can be
I'm gay and I'm proud! And I can finally be me
This is for anyone
Who just doesn't feel supported
Give yourself time
You are freaking loved and so important
If you wanna cry it out, cry it out
It's okay!
No matter if you're straight, bi, trans, queer, or gay
You are worth it and you're beautiful
You're far from the usual
Your life is oh so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

You are freaking perfect how you are