Drunk I Am

The beers are going down easy
And my team's playing on the TV
That tequila and lime's
Got me losing all track of time
Been a blurry neon evening
And these texts, they ain't like reading
I think her fourth missed call
Might be a sign

So I picked it up, thought I was tough
And the first thing I said, was

I ain't as think as you drunk I am
No, I ain't even a little buzzed
I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine
Right now, right here
I promise baby I'm on my way
I swear I already paid my tab
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man
I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Well, I guess I raised a few
'Cause Jimmy just got a divorce
And Timmy just joined the force
And Kimmy, you just bought a horse, right?
And Jimmy, you got a divorce!

I ain't as think as you drunk I am
No, I ain't even a little buzzed
I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine
Right now, right here
I promise baby I'm on my way
I swear I already paid my tab
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man
I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Alright though, I'm really gonna need a ride home
I think she's actually not pissed at me
Life is good on the porch

Yeah, she wasn't listening
So I put her on speakerphone
We all said
We ain't as drink as, fuck

We ain't as think as we drunk we are
No, we ain't even a little buzzed ([?])
We can walk a straight line ten times outta nine
Right now, right here
I promise lady I'm on my way (you said my tab is what?!)
I think I paid everybody's tab (I ain't paying for that shit)
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man
I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Kimmy just got a divorce, she can't afford it