Wanna Be Myself

(альбом: These Things Happen Too - 2021)

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself (Yeah)
I forgot how to be myself (Uh)
I just really miss myself (Somebody asked me, yeah)

Somebody asked me, "What do you have outside of music that really makes you happy?"
I thought about it and I ain't have no answer
I started this shit ten years ago, it was just me and my manager
On the road, doing any shows, we was filling up this calendar
But Matty's married now and it's a whole 'nother chapter
While I'm in Gerryland, I'm still here wilding as a bachelor
Woke up next to a stranger, what's her name? I had to ask her
She prolly thinks I got it all, but it's pain behind this laughter
Hungover the morning after, close my drapes, make it blackout
Tryna put the pieces together from last night when I blacked out
On LSD, had a convo with my brother, it brought a lot up
See I don't ever take the uniform off, and now I'm clocked out

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself (Yeah)

Coming down in my room all alone listening to Mac
Last time he text me, I was fucked up, forgot I didn't hit him back
Wish I could have spoken up, man, I just want my brother back
But I mean, who am I to talk, bro? I'm still living like that
They'll never understand what it's like to be a artist
Make some shit I don't feel, yes men tell me it's the hardest
They just wanna keep their jobs, stay on my good side, keep their office
Keep us on the road, and no commission or the profits
Now everything is peachy, and yeah, I feel Avicii
Fifty thousand watching me, but I swear don't nobody see me
But it's rich people problems, it's stamps all in my passport
My mama telling me that, "This is everything you asked for"
What you want?

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself (How to be myself)
I just really miss myself (Great mind, great mind)
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself

My anxiety increases the higher that I climb
I thought this shit would get easier, easier with time
I'm happy in my mind, but at least I tell myself that
Guess I'm damaged goods, I cannot help that
Drugs take the edge off, hide inside my comfort zone
Different girl every night, but worry I'ma die alone
Me against the world, can't decide now what side I'm on
Miss my family but act like I can't even dial a phone
Cheated on my girl, I felt like shit, and then I sped off
Crept in the crib quiet, shower, took my YSL off
She woke up, grab my dick, I couldn't help it, had to get off
And if she gave me head, felt like I wanna blow my head off
Think everybody cheats, everybody will
Everybody leaves, but these drugs never will
I know that sounds fucked up, but in the end, it's real
'Til I'm lost on a bender asking myself can I chill
This scale here will measure, five hundred pounds of pressure
The only thing to alleviate it is a stash in the dresser
Illuminate my ugly, you really sure you love me?
You deserve to know the truth, decide now what you think of me

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself
I just really miss myself
I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself
I forgot how to be myself, yeah
I just really miss myself