Stop The Wedding

(альбом: Are You Wigglin? - 2005)

Well I met this guy sometime last May
I heard he was hung and a machine gun lay
But I musta been drunk, I musta been busy
Musta been watching tapes of old MacGuyver or Richard Bey

IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY
YOU BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY
AND ALL YOU BAD FUCKS OUT THERE DON'T YOU TRY TO BONE ME
I ONLY WANTED A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY
FIRST I DID SOME JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS
HE SAID "DAMN I LIKE YOUR RACK--I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!!"
BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING SOFT
THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID "HEY! THE WEDDING'S OFF!!!"

And so that guy I had just met last May
He saw my cameltoe then canceled his wedding day
In a leotard made of the finest gold lame
At his bachelor party guess who popped right outta the cake?