Christmas Wrapping 2020 (All I Want For Christmas Is A Vaccine)

Oh no, oh no
Woke up this morning
Thought I was still dreaming
Album of the year nominees
Seems like Jews are now mainstreaming
News Alert: Oh god what happened?
Wish I was still sleeping
Spent too many days this year
On Tik Tok, drinking wine, and weeping
90 degrees and stores all shut
Biden/Harris, no utter disasters
December 10th, Oh Hanukkah!
No time to Netflix chess grandmasters
So TV off, tried to escape
But remembered our good ol' "Stay in place!"
Bypassed Amazon and Instagram
To locally sourced millennial Judaica

Zoom'd my sis and parents up
Mom said my skin looked oily
Changed the subject to the fact
That mom's shirt looks just like a doily
My menorah's lost, I'm breaking out
Depressed from having zero sex
Dad interjects, latkes a mess
The Cuisinart stopped working

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
2020 has been mighty wild!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Cut my own hair now I'm Yentl styled
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
2020 has been mighty wild!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Cut my own hair now I'm Yentl styled

Tried to write a Hanukkah song
For the year that's been unending
Called our friend who wrote "Slave Play"
And another one who loves Anime (Jeremy said!)
Reface app, Insta thirst traps
WAP-ing in the mirror
Buy my play it's called "Slave Play"
Wait are we in a Tony campaign?
It's Hanukkah! During COVID-19
What the hell does anything mean?
I stay awake way too late
'Cause Neo-Nazis made Pizzagate
And that for three whole months
In major cities in every state
No food is left on the street
Each other is all that rats ate

Seven o'clock, I hear a ring
Look over at my door
See a masked delivery man
Holding four menorahs
One from mom, one from sis
Another from sis, and another from
Our secret fourth sis
Our little Frankie Jonas
To my surprise hers is the best
So simple and unadorned
Burst into tears and began to cry
2020 has been full of lies
But even its most hellish months
Have offered sweet surprises:
Bye bye Trump
We saved Forrest Gump
Zendaya got her trophy
We can't go to restaurants but
My boyfriend made Macaroni!

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
2020 has been mighty wild!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Cut my own hair now I'm Yentl styled
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
2020 has been mighty wild!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Cut my own hair now I'm Yentl styled
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
2020 has been mighty wild!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Cut my own hair now I'm Yentl styled