I Should Have Looked Away

(альбом: La Vita Nuova - 2020)

Your kinetic architecture is evolving
Like a science before my eyes
And this geometry that haunts and so perplexes me
And that lack of stillness which I find so mesmerizing

I'm observing your recoiling frame
Undulating like a tidal crest and fall
Then you shudder gently back to center until the next wave
And I can almost time a rhythm to it all

And I should have known better
Than to do this to my very own
And I should have just let her
Look away
I should have looked away so long ago

And your beauty is a study of aesthetic
Peak and failure from one moment to the next
Unrelenting, mythic then approachable, imperfect
And I have tried to dignify it most respectfully

I have attempted drawing back my gaze
So to distract this curiosity away
But once my vision was compelled and the verse began to flow
Then to this powerful communion I'm held sway

And I couldn't have weathered
This most tempestuous of seasons on my own
If I hadn't been tethered
To your unknowableness
I would have blown away so long ago

And my heart is draining out along my arms
Down to the fingers which have toughened at the tips
From colliding with the instruments that after so long
You have coaxed me back into touch with once again

As I lay my head down on the keys
And weeping on the ivory, beseeching "let me be"
Then wearily I lift and my hands begin to find their way
Along to another melody

And I should have known better
Than to do this to my very own
And I should have just let her
Look away
I should have looked away so long ago