holy fucking shit

Holy fucking shit
I'm getting tired of being me
Waking up each day
Is such a fucking chore

Drink away the last night's fear
And tell you what you wanna hear
Then lay in bed
And be depressed some more

And I keep drinking way too much
Saying things I actually mean
Last night
I told a room of strangers
Everything there is to know
About the things
That haunt me in my dreams
And I'm sorry
But I don't think I'm ever gonna change

I started going out on walks
And then it started raining
I guess even our climate agrees with me;
That I don't deserve happiness
Or coping mechanisms
I deserve to lay out in the cold
And freeze

And that's just fine
I love the colder temperatures
I think they're so divine

Yeah, that's just fine
I'd rather rest out there
Than be in here
And be alive

'Cause I keep getting
Way too stoned
And worrying my friends
With what I say

Last week
I told my closest pals
That I wanted to run away
To Portland
So that I'd be less afraid
And I'm thinking
It isn't such a bad idea for me

Yeah, I'm thinking
That maybe it'd be good for me to leave