The Irony Of It All
(专辑: Original Pirate Material - 2002)
Hello, hello My name's Terry and I'm a
law-abider There's nothing I
like more than getting fired up on beer And when the
weekend's here I
exercise my right to get paralytic and fight Good bloke, fairly But I
get well lairy when geezers look at me funny Bounce 'em round like bunnies I'm likely to cause mischief Good clean grief, you must believe, and I
ain't no thief Law-abiding and all, all legal And who cares about my liver when it feels good? What you need is some real manhood Rasher Rasher, Barney and Kasha, putting peoples' backs up Public disorder? I'll give you public disorder! I
down eight pints and run all over the
place Spit in the
face of an officer See if that bothers ya, 'cause I
never broke a
law in my life Someday, I'm gonna settle down with a
wife Come on, lads, let's have another fight Er, hello, my name's Tim and I'm a
criminal In the
eyes of society, I
need to be in jail For the
choice of herbs I
inhale This ain't no wholesale operation Just a
few eighths and some PlayStation's my vocation I
pose a
threat to the
nation And down the
station, the
police hold no patience Let's talk space and time I
like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein And Carl Jung, and old Kung Fu movies I
like to see Pass the
hydrator please Yeah, I'm floating on thin air Going to Amsterdam in the
New Year, top gear there 'Cause I
take pride in my hobby Homemade bongs using my engineering degree Dear leaders, please legalise weed for these reasons Like I
was saying to him I
told him, "Fuck with me and you won't live" So I
smacked him in the
head and downed another Carling Bada-bada-bing, for the
lads like Mad fight, his face's a
sad sight, vodka and snakebite Going on like a
right geez, he's a
twat Shouldn't have looked at me like that Anyway, I'm an upstanding citizen If a
war came along, I'd be on the
front line with 'em Can't stand crime either, them hooligans on heroin Drugs and criminals Those thugs are the
pinnacle of the
downfall of society I've got all the
anger pent up inside of me You know, I
don't see why I
should be the
criminal How can something with no recorded fatalities be illegal? And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol? I
just completed Gran Turismo on the
hardest setting We pose no threat on my settee Ooh, the
pizza's here, will someone let him in, please? "We didn't order chicken Not a
problem, we'll pick it out" I
doubt they meant to mess us about After all, we're all adults, not louts As I
was saying, we're friendly, peaceful people We're not the
ones out there causing trouble We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is MTV, BBC Two, Channel 4
is on 'til six in the
morning Then at six in the
morning, the
sun dawns and it's my bed time Causing trouble? You're stinking rabble! Poised, saying I'm the
lad who's spoiling it? You're on drugs! It really bugs me when people try and tell me I'm a
thug Just for getting drunk I
like getting drunk 'Cause I'm an upstanding citizen If a
war came along, I'd be on the
front line with 'em Now Terry, you're repeating yourself But that's OK, drunk people can't help that A
chemical reaction happening inside your brain Causes you to forget what you're saying What?! I
know exactly what I'm saying I'm perfectly sane You stinking student lame-o! Go get a
job and stop robbing us of our taxes Erm, well, actually, according to research Government funding for further education pales in insignificance When compared to how much they spend on repairing Lairy drunk people at the
weekend In casualty wards all over the
land Why, you cheeky little swine, come here! I'm gonna batter ya! Come here!