Mr. Fregoli And The Diathesis-Stress Supermodel, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Con (An Untitled Track)

Untitled Honours Management, this is Max
Yeah, hey Max, its Will
Who?
Will Wood
Ooh Will Wood. How's my favourite client?
I don't know you'd have to ask him
Everyone's buzzing about your Normal Album Willy
Well, that's tha tha tha the thing is I noticed its not on the Will Wood and the Tapeworms Spotify profile its on its on a Will Wood profile just Will Wood
That's cause you're a pop icon now Willy!
What?
Now that you got that big hit with Love Me Normal
Normally and it was hardly a hit
You should see the numbers
I have access to the analytics
Your a star now kid, we've really gotta focus on your brand. Who is Will Wood?
I am
That's right, gay icon Will Wood
I'm? I'm not gay? Um
Any day now you're gonna wake up a household name and that names gotta be marketable. Pop stars don't have tapeworms
I think a lot of them do actually
My sides. Listen you worry too much, did you take your medication today?
Uhh Max, I um uh
Did you?
I mean I was about to
You know what you got kid?
What
"It" you got "It." You got moxie, you got spunk
Spunk?
You wanna see your name in lights?
I mean if it pays um
Look, I'm in it for the music, I just love music, I'm a music fan and you're the most talented artist in my roster you know that?
No
We just gotta make the right branding decisions, get you in the room in front of the right people
I don't care about the branding I just wanna make sure people who are listening on my old Spotify can find me out on the new Will Wood profile
I'll take care of it kid you stick with me you know I'll take care of ya. I got an idea
What
We'll post a track to the old profile that sounds like some kinda skit but is actually obviously just an advertisement for the new Will Wood Spotify profile
Okay yeah no I like that, but it can't be subtle
Of course not. We'll make it self-aware so its immune to criticism
That is why meta commentary exists
And to be safe we'll also make it criticise meta commentary so we're doubly protected
That's a great idea. And and we can blame the name change on a fictional manager so I don't have to explain all the complicated business reasons behind the change
Remember, we'll only be able to get away with this if it seems like we're making some kinda artistic statement
Well, we can make it seem like I'm criticising post modernism and the disingenuous nature of the music industry and put some avant-garde grouning in the back
Get hold on, I'm getting another call
Wait, what?