KSI Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #4)

Dear KSI
Regarding your anticipated fight
You stated all creators may apply
A blatant lie
Your survey provided no way to say
If I was the preferred antagonist
To ram a fist into your face and why?

Dismayed I tried to rack my brains and find
An explanation, finally one came to mind:
"JJ is afraid to die"
Yeah he'd rather take a dive than face the guy
That makes the gaming rhymes
He'd rather stay inside today and hide away and cry
I'll be at the weigh in like
"I've been training day and night"
Bulking up my body weight with takeaway and pints
My massive girth will bring you back to earth, KSI
Cause mate, behaving like a God's a way of inviting deicide
It'll be over so quick we won't need to stream it
We'll just make a vine
You may rewind that to appreciate, take your time
The layers I can iron into shape
Require bare time
They hide the fact they're highbrow
Kinda like your hairline

When you were born the doctors thought
It was a diplodocus egg
My raps are like your bandana
Non-stop off the top of the head
I thought that Jack Douglass had a massive cranium
But yours is the reason we need a bigger capacity stadium
Last time you trained to raise your fitness up
At the gymnasium
They raised the alarm mistaking you for an invading alien
Maybe that explains the way you interact with ladies mate
Cause making "rapey faces" ain't really your saving grace
You're thinking that your baby face
Enables incorrect behaviour
Making mental illness jabs then play like you're their actual saviour
You're chatting vapour
It's no surprise your raps are bait bruh
So I'm afraid I'll have to roast you like a jacket potato

I know promoting fights involves a type of boastful gloating
But slow up on the showboating
Though don't go back to motorboating
Slow your roll before somebody draws on you
Rotoscoping
I don't know what this bloke is smoking as a mode of coping
Fame's a dangerous drug bruv, and JJ's overdosing
There's only so long you can go from rope a doping
I fight live weasels while showing no emotion
The local stoat enclosure's open if you want to go for coaching
This is the moment where I'm supposed to say
"I'm only joking"
But the oven gloves are off prepare for total roasting

You'll need the strongest potions from the potion seller
I'm reaching deep beneath you see, call me the ocean dweller
Why you beefing with that Logan fella
When you know I'm better
And I'm ever so much more punchable
Than the Go Compare bruh
I'm never jealous of you well athletic OP fellas
So what that you could beat Joe Weller, I could beat Zoella
I tried to chat her up, she said I was a bellend
I snuck into the factory, hid a shiv inside her calendar
A different type of challenger
Won't fit inside your calipers
A different calibre
My talent's OP like your manager
I'm sending shivers down your spine with my vernacular
I can make you and Deji feud as if you are the Gallaghers
No matter how fast and savage you can throw a jab
It won't impact me through these massive fatty rolls of flab
Look, I'm an older lad, I'm out of shape and overweight
I'll beat the holy crap out of your hand with my nose and face
The blows will make your bones all break
Like sticks and stones and names
I'll eat you up for breakfast mate, call it the hunger games
I'll beat you at boxing, beat you at beatboxing
Beat you at unboxing
Beat you at hopscotch, sinking neat scotch from my lunchbox
Singing
I know you like to jump around but it's all smoke and mirrors
You need to keep up your flows and lyrics don't deliver
Like a postman with a broken rib that's trying to go to Kilimanjaro
In a Lamborghini, he won't be home for dinner

I don't really hate you JJ, I can't even get close
Friend and foe I hit both sides, call it a spit roast
I know twenty seventeen was the year of the diss track
But I'm bringing that shit back
And don't give a shit if I get flak
Cause I'm a master rap lyricist, while you just dabble
In disputing Bull, it's indisputable
I'll prove it using scrabble
HA
Imagine that in the ring
How mentally challenging
That would have been
I'm collecting anagrams of "The Nightmare"
Let me gather them in
Alright then me
Rah I'm the gent
Him, gent hater
The right name
The thin gamer
Meh, grin at the
Thane the grim
Reign hath met
Me threat nigh
Mr hating thee
He, me, that ring
Hear them ting
Rah, get him ent
That her minge
Ream the thing
He, might enter
The ring, am the
Hitter, hang em
Anger, hit them
Man get hither
Harm the gent
Near might the
Man here tight
Man he tighter
Than the grime
Genre that him
Rite hang them
High men treat
Him great then
Mean right then
Nth meagre hit
Harming teeth
Argh then emit
Methane right
'Neath the grim
Night heart me