The Funeral
(专辑: Where I Go When I Am Sleeping - 2018)
Once again, my caution bends to soft amnesia, and I
forget that I've been here before. I
lay awake as the
melatonin fails again, and melancholy settles in, my mouth neglects the
shape of words that I
know you adored. Every night it hurts a
little more. And I
can't seem to satiate the
sadness that still resonates. Every bone in me will break beneath the
weight of guilt that I
can't place. If my happiness isn't permanent, then I
am no more than a
surrogate father, lead to the
alter to marry the
mother despite all of my reservations. If the
joy that I
feel is so juvenile, how do I
reconcile all the
aggression that I
seem to harbour, the
selfish depression that makes it so hard to feel loved. Promise me you'll stay a
while, I
know I
ask you all the
time, must be getting hard to pretend. Safe in the
warmth of the
sun I
let myself undress, revealing wounds that time neglects, hesitant I
acquiesce to the
softest embrace your bed. Where shamefully I
supplicate for anything that seems to sooth my aches. Watch me as I
dissipate, dissolve into a
solvent fear of change. Despondency bleeds into everything, removing my hands from the
wheel of the
vehicle, and I
couldn't care at all; sing me to sleep with my mellifluous misery. Drunk and delusional, numb at the
funeral, love was once sacrosanct but now it resembles the
sound of a
language that I'm scared to speak.