How I Met My Ex

(专辑： Game Over - 2017)

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I met my girl when I was 18 years old
And she was just turning 23
I really love her from my heart
And even though I don't deserve it fam I hope she loves me
So I just done this private show I'm doing Footlocker promo
And judging from the postcode it was Shoreditch or Soho
Did 6 or 7 tracks, made 6 or 7 racks
A couple days later on twitter I saw this photo of myself and I was grinning
That 4K camera of quality had got me tripping
So I'm checking out who did it
When I stumbled on this girl
And I could tell that she was different
A couple hours later now I'm liking all her pictures
I ain't finished
I typed her twitter name into my Insta so I could check on every single little digit
Why didn't I just message her?
Trust me I was thinking, but I'm a self-centred rapper too concerned about my image
The truth
So when she hit me first I'm pretty shocked I didn't burst
I'm calling Josh, Jack and Juss who am I ringing first?
Man I was so excited
That I replied a minute later that's that bro I think that you just let her know excited
Too excited, no clue on what I should do excited
So I'm just typing, rambling like a fool, excited

Look
Look
And we were talking for hours over some minor things
Ignoring everyone else to her I'm replying quick
This type of chick she got a spark like you were lighting spliffs
You know you like her when you're thinking about your words
She got me typing, deleting my messages then re-writing
In the hope that there's a smile when she's replying
The highlight of my day, them phone calls in the night, it's the little things
The girl, she had a vibe and I liked it and
She's into photography and she's got a passion for it
And she respects that I'm rapping but she ain't catting for it
See that's the perfect balance
There's nothing better than a girl with talent
Drive, ambition, all of them things above
She's showing an abundance
I ain't even met her yet
She works around the corner but lives just outside of London
I ain't fronting, I'm a sweet boy
Intentions are in question so my compliments are decoys
If that even makes sense?
The first time I met her, I'm surrounded by my friends
Random ends on some staircase
So much for a first date
I just had a show
And I asked if she could meet me after
Maybe we could chill, you never know where things could go
No problem she down to roll
Travelled in the cold
So I went across the road, grey hoodie under a coat
If I'm remembering correctly
It's always kind of weird when the person that you were texting
Is the person you are obsessed with
I was on her from the jump
I think she was wearing pumps or Vans when I first met her, no, it's either either one
She was looking so attractive I barely saw skin 'cause she was covered like a mattress
Man, I think that she's the one
I was stuck for twenty seconds tryna to give the girl a hug
And all my friends are drunk so fuck it, I'm about to kiss her
Any complications, I'm blaming it on the liquor
Changing my name on Twitter and blocking her on my Insta
I saw her skin blush the moment that our lips touched
She pulled my bottom lip until it stretched
Kissed me on my cheek until she reached around my neck
And had me moaning like a bitch
Even though I'm wearing jeans, I had to re-arrange my dick so she don't see that I'm erect
It's the first time we met, got me feeling like a creep
And that strawberry flavour gave her tongue a kinda sweet little taste
And we could speak about anything we were friends first
I dropped her to the station I remember
'Cause we had a conversation for ages about our dreams
And the things that we hadn't seen and all that we intended to do
I bet she's hoping my intentions are true
And as months went by we both got into it, and intimate
And I'ma spare you the details 'cause both of our parents are probably listening
But really we were into it
Into us, into this
Into everything about each other we were lovers and I love her 'cause she knows me and that's probably why she told me you ain't ready for a girl
You're still a little kid that's getting ready for the world and you don't need that kinda burden
But I told her that I want it
And I'm just being honest, yes I know that girls exist but I don't see them as a problem
I meant every single word
And I ain't gonna lie and say DM's have been absurd but out of every single girl
This is the weirdest of positions
It's usually the girl that's asking where I see her fitting or a place on her position
But I'm telling her I need it
And I don't think she sees it, so I'm being even sweeter when we're speaking and we're meeting
I've got affectionate messages, you could read them
You gotta tell a girl that she's beautiful 'til she sees it
Believes it, understands it more than physically
Mentally, and the way that I'm feeling
I could talk 10 years about the moment that we shared
The jokes that we had running
The places that we've been
The music we made together producing next to my bed
Then making my minor changes in reference to what she said
I think I start to getting tired, my schedule's a mess
Replies are getting lazy and my lady knows it's crazy
But she's there if I'm in need
While I'm at shows getting tempted by girls that are on their knees
You know I'm only a teen, it's like my eyes started drifting
Not as easy as I pictured to give your all to a woman
Ignoring all this attention that's been getting to my head
The sex is so accessible, one message or text and girls will get in your bed
She's tryna make it happen with photos and her events
I mentioned it's her passion, photography is her thing
And I don't know if it's the pressure
Where paper meets the passion and the pleasure
We all gotta work to survive
So now she's popping up at shows
Taking pictures on her own
And at first it wasn't cool
But fuck it we let it go
Until I saw her in some rapper's tracksuit, I felt a way
She told me it was work and she was in some studio
Taking pictures and I just sighed
Some halfway wannabe rappers that fed her lies
They ain't looking for no picture
I know it's your profession
But read their intentions
They ain't paying male photographers to shoot that same session
And that felt so disrespectful, standing on our dreams
And crushing 'em, I just told her it's nothing do what you need to do
If I ain't feeding you
Then my opinion's all I'm giving when I speak to you
'Cause I don't have the right
Why should girls be punished for a male's dirty mind?
When I think about it now, I'm ashamed to the core
I mean how many men stop their women from achieving what they can because in secret they've been feeling insecure
And I can't handle my emotions, it's probably why I didn't see her
Talent when I shoulda been supporting and promoting
Like I didn't have a platform, a voice and a following
With everyone I knew, I really coulda do a lot of things to help chase her dream
But instead of me to grow into the person that she needs
I acted like I couldn't see
And I don't mean to say this like I don't trust the girl
But how can I trust her if I don't trust myself?
And even girls can get tempted you know how it goes
What if she meets a bigger rapper when she's at a show?
What if he sees her backstage?
What if he selling lots?
What if he's got a bigger car, got a better watch?
That doesn't bother me, she really ain't material
It's all the little things they do that put the fear in you
What if he actually replies?
What if he phones her too?
What if he's doing all the things that I'm supposed to do?
What if he's listening, laughing, relating?
What if he even cares to ask her how her day's been?
What if he's trying to give her everything she needs and expects from the one damn person that she's dating?
I shoulda helped her follow her dream
But instead I held her back and had her following me
And boys got a brave face so they'll never know
That it hurts just as much when you let them go