Suffocating
(专辑: Pain Paints Paintings - 2021)
I'm tired man... Sometimes I
just sit in my room and hold my breath And let all the
pressure and anxiety build up And just let the
time pass by At first, I
couldn't breathe Now I'm suffocating Maybe the
pressure from the
fame isn't worth what I'm chasing I
used to say God's playing, now the
devil's on my team acting foul and it's all flagrant Tryna push me off the
path that I'm steady paving Sin is the
currency and every day I'm making payments I
don't wanna live in it but I
heard a
saying "Good knows evil cause the
houses are both adjacent" I
don't know if I
should go for these goals I've seen people gain the
world but lose their souls My anxiety is building as the
weight of it grows I
succumb myself in privacy inside my home And I
barely answer calls and when I
see my phone I'm reminded that the
real feeling of being alone is having millions who love you but can leave you or say that they hate you at the
moment they don't fuck with a
song I
used to laugh it off Now I
hold my breath and suffocate Then I
sit and wait just to see if I
can kill the
hate And as I'm fleeting I
see God at the
heaven's gates Then come back down to fight another day Then I
grab that same phone and smile and wave And pour my empty heart into a
song that they won't praise They say patience is the
key but they didn't tell me, while I
wait I'll be locked inside a
steel cage Something's wrong, I
feel claustrophobic I'm stuck living in the
past and not the
moment Or the
future where my life is only more broken Cause those wounds from the
past are still open I
take sips of love and every single time it's poison I
see Women who can't see past my employment Or see me as enjoyment so I
can't enjoy it cause the
ride's temporary and they leave once they crash and destroy it I
don't think this life is healthy, why didn't anybody tell me? Everybody want help but nobody wanna help me I'm an ATM, a
therapist and everybody's friendly And they hide their real intentions but my mind won't let me If I
make a
sad song, don't ask me if I'm happy Fuck a
hook, my pain isn't catchy If you relate, or worse feel badly, fucking pity me at least and check in if you at me That's the
only way I'll know who it touches That's why I
stay awake and answer DMs by the
hundreds So I
don't lose myself and fill my stomach with the
feeling that I'm here just to suffocate for nothing If you know real pain then you see it when you look me in my eyes I
try to hide it but they do not lie I
wanna sleep but if I
try, the
demons who creep in my dreams will collide So I
stay up and I
stare at the
ceiling And ask myself if I
should even share these feelings Then I
hear a
voice in the
distance from a
ghost-like image Saying my pain could be somebody's healing So I
close my eyes and drift to the
place that inspires these lyrics And as I
see flames and I
scream, I
pray it's a
place you'll never have to visit