Pimp Council
(专辑: Golden Grain - 2002)
[Too $hort] All rise...order in the
court The
honourable judge muthafucking Too $hort presiding over Superior Players Court The
first case is the
State vs. Fate Wilson A.K.A. Baby Flex You being charged wit home invasion and hoe slaughter For fucking another nigga's bitch [Lil' Fate] Listen close to what I
say Dog, it might hurt ya I
be cutting ya girl while you be going to work bruh When she first called my conscience was like, "Hell naw, Fate don't" But she said, "I'm only around the
corner", and popped her lil' punt Apartment 5-7-0-1, told her I
was eating right now Be over there when I
get done Got there, knocked on the
door She opened up the
door half naked, looking exquisite Acking mad 'cuz I
ain't spoke to her since the
last time a
nigga hit it She said, "Don't worry forget it since we only have 30 minutes" 'Fore her man came home for lunch So I
bust my nut and raised up wit Five mnutes to spare, her man unaware I
saw him in traffic, beeped the
horn and threw a
deuce in the
air Yea I'm a
playa But I
feel guilty 'bout cutting a
broad I
need counseling dog, 'cuz it's guilty as charged Simply because I
felt victim to lust and Knowing all the
while it was my cousin girlfriend I
had been fucking (Damn!) [Too $hort] The
court finds you guitly as charged Your sentence is PUI school For pimping under the
influence, nigga Next case... Oh we got us a
repeat offender in the
house Jenny Jones A.K.A. Shanwnna Same ol' charge...wanted in 8
states What's yo story this time? [Shawnna] Oh yes yo' honor I
see we talking again I
have no representation now shall we begin I
know you seen my face before but...hold on my friend It's niggas getting away wit doing the...same shit I
did I...can't do no bid I
got a
mortgage and my kids In a
forest by the
bridge And I
drives a
Rolls Royce in a
porridge wit dem grills So you undertand I
was tryna pay me some bills When I
was flipping outta state while I
was taking a
chill Shooting deem and a
couple friends, spend a
couple ends Took the
top off of the
drop and let the
bubble spin Niggas got off in my knot and let them troubles in So I
decided to put that shit in my own hands None of these hoes can fuck me, only God judge me That man told me he love me and he flash money My only crime could just be living it filthy So let me hear it on mo' time--not guilty [Too $hort] Bailiff, take her into custody [Woman screaming] Oh, not my baby! Hell naw! [Too $hort] Next case... State vs. Velvet Jones A.K.A. Ludacris You being charged wit impeeding how traffic Spending too much time tryna fuck one hoe How do you plead Mr. Jones? [Ludacris] Man I'm the
pimp of all pimps and y'all coming up short [Too $hort] Calm down before I
hold yo ass contempt of court [Ludacris] Ya honor, just be cool, let me approach that bench And sprinkle seasoning on yo ears 'bout how I
choked that beeyotch! [Too $hort] Well did she promise you the
pussy, mayn? [Ludacris] She ceratinly did I
got empty McDonald's cups in my car and my crib She owe me sumthing, bitch betta show me sumthing Wrap her legs around my waist and start to throw me sumthing I'm simply the
meanest, you looking at the
stroke of a
genius The
only verdict made should be the
subpoena uh this penis No objections or appeals, let's cut us a
deal And I
promise to tell the
truth if my partner don't squeal She's awfully cautious, said the
jury makes her nautious She said she said she'd suck my dick if I
dropped the
charges Oh no! Time to make ya kidneys shift [Too $hort] But didn't you fuck her best friend? [Ludacris] Oh, I
plead the
fifth [Too $hort talking] Yea, that sound like some shit you'll say Ol' pimp ass nigga Due to lack of evidence, I'm dropping the
charges Don't let me see you in here again Let this be a
lesson learned If you don't know you player rules You liable to violate the
game and get sent away for a
long, long time Remember...never hate on a
real player It ain't gon' get you nowhere, mayn It's a
lotta hoes out there player so... Ain't no reason fot yuo to fuck ya best friend Or ya cousin or ya brother's girl Get ya own bitch, mayn, you know what I'm sayin'? You running around here... Violating major player rules You 'bout to get the
muthafucking book thrown at yo bitch ass Fucking 'round in this court You know what I'm sayin'? It's all about the
money baby It it ain't about the
money...it ain't about SHIT!! To all you niggas running 'round here... Corny than a
motherfucker Just tryna fuck a
bitch 'cuz you wanna get a
nut off Think about that money first, mayn--what is that bitch doing for you? What are you getting outta the
situation? Tryna give a
bitch sumthing What you gon' give her sumthing for--some pussy?! It's tricking, mayn Don't be a
BEEUTCH! Be a
real pimp, nigga Make that hoe pay you for everythang you do Everythang you do you gotta get money, mayn...all day, all night I
wouldn't fuck a
bitch for free Just like I
wouldn't rap for free, motherfucker Yea, you know my favorite word...BEEUTCH!!