Cheepnis
(专辑: Roxy & Elsewhere - 1974)
"Cheepnis." Let me tell you something, do you like monster movies? Anybody? I
LOVE monster movies, I
simply adore monster movies, and the
cheaper they are, the
better they are. And cheepnis in the
case of a
monster movie has nothing to do with the
budget of the
film, although it helps, but true cheepnis is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to the
jaw of a
giant spider... I'll tell you, a
good one that I
saw one time, I
think the
name of the
film was "IT CONQUERED THE WORLD," and the... Did you ever see that one? The
monster looks sort of like an inverted ice-cream cone with teeth around the
bottom. It looks like a
(phew!), like a
teepee or... sort of a
rounded off pup-tent affair, and, uh, it's got fangs on the
base of it, I
don't know why but it's a
very threatening sight, and then he's got a
frown and, you know, ugly mouth and everything, and there's this one scene where the, uh, monster is coming out of a
cave, see? There's always a
scene where they come out of a
cave, at least once, and the
rest of the
cast... it musta been made around the
1950's, the
lapels are about like that wide, the
ties are about that wide and about this short, and they always have a
little revolver that they're gonna shoot the
monster with, and there is always a
girl who falls down and twists her ankle... heh-hey! Of course there is! You know how they are, the
weaker sex and everything, twisting their ankle on behalf of the
little ice-cream cone. Well in this particular scene, in this scene, folks, they, uh, they didn't wanna re-take it 'cause it musta been so good they wanted to keep it, but they... when the
monster came out of the
cave, just over on the
left hand side of the
screen you can see about this much two-by-four attached to the
bottom of the
Thing as the
guy is pushing it out, and then obviously off-camera somebody's goin': "NO! GET IT BACK!" And they drag it back just a
little bit as the
guy is goin': "KCH! KCH!" Now that's cheepnis. Awright. And this is "Cheepnis" here. One two three four... I
ate a
hot dog It tasted real good Then I
watched a
movie From Hollywood I
ate a
hot dog It tasted real good (Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum Yum-yum yummy-yummy-yum) Then I
watched a
movie From Hollywood (Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum Dum-dum dummy-dummy-dum) Little Miss Muffett on a
squat by me, yeah Took a
turn around, I
said: Can y'all see now? The
little strings on the
Giant Spider? The
Zipper From The
Black Lagoon? (HA HA HA!) The
vents by the
tanks where the
bubbles go up? (And the
flaps on the
side of the
moon) The
jelly & paint on the
40 watt bulb They use when the
slime droozle off The
rumples & the
wrinkles in the
cardboard rock, yeah And the
canvas of the
cave is too soft The
suits & the
hats & the
tie's too wide And too short for the
scientist man The
chemistry lady with the
roll-away mind, yeah While the
monster just ate Japan Ladies and gentlemen, The
monster, Which the
peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX (Apparently a
very large poodle dog) Has just been seen approaching The
Power Plant Bullets can't stop it Rockets can't stop it We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE! HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG! BIG AS A
BLIMP WITH A
RHINESTONE COLLAR SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A
DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T LET THE POODLE BITE ME! WE CAN'T LET IT REPRODUCE! OH! SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS! The
National Guard has formed up at the
base of the
mountain And is attempting to lure the
enormous poodle towards the
cave Where they hope to destroy it with napalm A
thousand of the
troopers are now lined up and are calling to the
monster... Here Fido Here Fido Here Fido GOT A
GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING GOT A
GREAT BIG HEAVY THING GOT A
GREAT BIG POODLE THING GOT A
GREAT BIG HAIRY THING GOT A
GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING GOT A
GREAT BIG HEAVY THING GOT A
GREAT BIG POODLE THING GOT A
GREAT BIG HAIRY THING C'mon! Everybody! Hurry! Let's go! Somebody get the
distilled water! Get the
canned goods! Get the
toilet paper! You know we need it! GO TO DA SHELTER MY BABY, MY BABY, GO TO DA SHELTER GO TO DA SHELTER GO TO DA SHELTER MY BABY, MY BABY, GO TO DA SHELTER GO TO DA SHELTER Little Miss Muffett on a
squat by me, Can ya see the
little string dangling down Makes the
legs go wobble an' the
mouth flop shut, yeah An' the
HORRIBLE EYE, An' that HORRIBLE EYE, An' that HORRIBLE EYE Go rolling around Can y'see it at all Can y'see it from here Can y'laugh till yer weak on yer knees If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please (Cheeper the
better) Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please (Cheeper the
better) Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please (Cheeper the
better) Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis please (Cheeper the
better) (Cheeper the
better) (Cheeper the
better) (Cheeper the
better) Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I
wanna know I
need a
little more cheepnis...