Changes Consume Me
(专辑: Everything We Could Have Done Differently - 2013)
It's a
terrible statement but I
never let it leave my side. That sickening realization that I'm done with this fight. Moments kneeling on the
bedroom floor sickened by the
entity I
had absorbed, no more. I
would not let the
self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a
precipice a
monologue questioning my every motive. My disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling out of a
broken vase taking the
place of what was once your emotion. Diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I'm vocally shook; and I'm tired of telling myself that it's gonna change. Taken by the
spectacular lie that existence can end. Faulse-hoods predicted my sinners dictated my every decision. An exit of sorts seemed logical, cause I
thought I
could silence this breath. But contrary to my mindset, I
circumvented my threats to silence the
demons singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear, that ending it all is a
safe bet. Comforting me as I
try to manipulate my end. Those moments when I
decided I
couldn't handle this anymore! Pins and needles infected every sensation I
had left! Feeling like this love I
had once found had been torn open and left broken in the
cold -that the
seams holding it together ripped open and my flesh tore open with that is I
pray that my breathing would stop. And as I
held those staining memories, I
held on so tightly; remembering what life used to mean. Selfishly ready to embrace the
fact that I
am weak! But then I
called to you, and I
hoped someone would find me; and I
found you, and I
had hoped someone would call me! Cause I'm listening to these echoes of my own voice leaving damage in the
cold, as I
feel I
have finally grown to the
point where I
can snap. A
point of knowing I
could never go back... And it's in the
moments I
felt most alone. That I
told myself no one was there for me; and little did I
know, love with sitting right beside me, I
just wasn't listening. At this point in my life I
don't know many things, but I
can promise you this You are loved completely.