Santa's A Fat Bitch
(专辑: Forgotten Freshness Vol. 1 - 1998)
Sleigh bells jingle-ling rin jing jingle-ling Horses, horses, horses, horses. Sleigh bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling [gunshot] Santa Claus suck my balls Drunk as hell rinking bells at the
malls Dancer, Prancer, Dixon and Qupid I'm a
get stupid, ha ha ha, eh I
sat around all night under the
chimney Holding my sack like "gimme gimme" I
know that he's commin, he's comming he must Lookin up nothing but rust, dust. Turn on my TV the
very next day I
see your gettin payed leadin the
parade I'm that sniper on the
building Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a
fat bitch Santa Claus is a
fat bitch (Santa Claus is a
fat fat bitch) Another year and I
ain't get shit (Another year I
ain't get shit) If I
hear him land on my roof (Oh my undertaker) I'm a
bust your ass in the
too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Yeah I
got something to say about St. Nick Fuck that hoe he never brought Shaggs shit No toys, candy canes, just a
lump of coal, So I
eat it, cause there ain't nothing in the
cubbards So I'll be quick, quick and brief All I
need for Christmas is my two front teeth I
got my teeth, kicked out my mouth I
need a
few new ones could you help me out Should of known I'd get the
short end of the
stick No kinda gift I
didn't get shit Some say I
was bad but that wasn't it It's all because, Santa's a
fat bitch Santa Claus is a
fat bitch (Santa fuck you cause your a
hoe) Another year and I
ain't got shit (Another year I
ain't get shit) If I
hear him land on my roof I'm a
bust your ass in the
too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth "Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Roudolf that's the
ghetto. Ho-ho, those boys and girls don't deserve anything." [Background:] Slaybells ringling jing jing jingle-ling horses, horses, horses, horses Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been? I
see you got cookies and milk on your chin I
guess you had time to collect your ends You always been down for your rich friend But Roudolf, he don't bring his sleigh my way Nothing but coal and dirt for little J
I
guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft You need to loose some of that fat ass, eh All the
little rich boys they gettin payed Counting the
toys and duckets they made Me? I
got a
little half little chunk of dog shit I'm a
kill that fat bitch Santa Claus is a
fat bitch (He ate too much McDonald's) Another year and I
ain't get shit (Mrs. Claus is a
ho) If I
hear him land on my roof (Slice that bitch in the
big red coat) I'm a
bust your ass in the
too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth For the
neighborhood Christmas and everythings whack Not a
creature sturrin but a
fucking rat I
ain't hearing jingle bells I
ain't hearing nothing Ain't smelling no Turkey sure as hell ain't no stuffing All that I
payed, wished and prayed That fat mother fucker would swing my way Drop off soldiers and rubber balls But I
woke up and found some crusty old drawers Just as I
knew it shaft again, and again, and again, and again Every year I
wake up to the
same old shit....house There be no sign of the
fat bitch Santa Claus is a
fat bitch (Santa Claus is a
fat bitch) Another year and I
ain't get shit (Another year I
ain't get shit) If I
hear him land on my roof (If I
hear him land on my roof) I'm a
bust your ass in the
too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Santa Claus is a
fat bitch (Santa Claus is a
fat bitch) Another year and I
ain't get shit (I ain't ge-et shi-it) If I
hear him land on my roof (Ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof) I'm a
bust your ass in the
too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth [record scratching] "He's got a
fuzzy white beard and a
great big smile, A
bright red hat you can see for a
mile, A
bag full of goodies and a
great big grin, Here comes Santa Claus again."