Searching

And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was...
And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was...

Why am I lost?
Giving into every single vice of my life even though I know the outcome, looking for the answer
I can never find it, what is on my mind?
All the insecurities that I am blessed with
Stressed that I'm never gonna make it
A man left vacant from all the pain he concealed
I said it with the validity, I felt as though I needed, defeated by everything I go through
I don't even know you, speaking with a figment of my imagination
Tryna find my soul, everything that I will say up on a record
Is similar to assembling a reason to live, I pray Christ forgives
And this life I been, devoid without a purpose
Diverted but not emerging, immersed in the agony
A life, I can never get it right to enlighten and I fight and finding the peace
My release is the music, and now I need a muse
Refuse to give you something you consider less than
Confused that you'd believe in the words of the next man
Amused that you would listen and tell me what I am
I don't even understand, cause I was never connected
I'm gone and complacent
The way that I've been living is off of the reservation
The stay of the state of steady evaluation
Evasive, I wish I wasn't isolated, so sedated, filled with hatred
Still retracing all the mistakes that I made
And never make 'em again, I thought that
I wanted friends, but people only appear when they see
That it's beneficial, dependent on emotions
That I am willing to give, I'm getting close
To insanity
Everything is cynical, sending em a better sign
The pain is never subliminal
Seriously invested, I'm resurrecting correcting a policy
A personal put the place, I deface the abrasive, you cannot erase this
The moment that you put in the ground, and I made it
The times ain't change, and it's always gonna be the same shit
Give a negative image that you are guaranteed to receive in an abundance of wealth
Attempts to cover insecurity
That you have currently felt
Materials never helped
They're only there to mask it, manifest, manipulate, relevate the energy
Praying never reciprocates
I'm working to eliminate the mindstate perpetuated by literal ignorance defended it by saying you playing it for the beat
And the lyrics they never matter you seeing as obsolete
And we seeking to see the center a hypothetical sinner with theoretical lineage to emphasize the innocence, a suicidal nigga, to be honest I don't give a shit
I'm really getting sick of it simmering every time to the world when I need to be alone to atone for sins and tresspasses
Can I get a pastor
You ain't gotta say it I know I'm a fucking bastard
Prepare for the worst I fell like I'm ready for hell
I'm a different type of nigga that's very easy to tell
I think I'm in need of help
For pills to ingest for instance my intent ended it all nigga
Been praying to God quicker the false repentance invented and said it was an anomaly impossible to proper the pain is part of the problem
Presented as a constant
I got a lot of secrets that's sitting upon my conscience
Call it what you want but it better be the truth
Never lie upon the nigga that was living in reclusion
Everything I do is amazing its no illusion
Whatever niggas given the vision has been alluded
Damn I cannot breathe
All of the evil I see is source for my apathy actually felling like I'm insignificant
I am not different, never been better
A lack of intelligence, taking its toll, is embedded inside of me
Suffering silently see my demise is a way to be free
A depressing confession connected
The sentence malevolence given in my adolescence
Compressing the session until its effected the words that you have for the due convalescence
With question obsessing the day I expire
Attire from livid submitting my spirit affirmatively till I'm permanently in a place of seclusion
I cannot tell what is real as I fill up the page with the prophecy
Pardon the protestant lacking the sympathy making obvious deal with the consequence
I just pray my death is quick I'm a son of a bitch and I'm dying the way I was born
Told you I never depend I can't wait for the moment that I meet my savior to tell me this is the end
I just wish I was no longer here is the cause of the pain and the source of my fears
Lord

And I'm just searching for that, I never got when I was...
And I'm just searching for that, I never got when I was...

And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was young
And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was young
I'm at the end and I don't know if imma make it out alive
I'm at the end and I don't know if imma make it out alive
All these years of isolation drove this young nigga insane
All these years of isolation drove this young nigga insane
Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherfucking pain
Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherfucking pain
Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherfucking pain
Damn!