Me, Museum
(专辑: Grief Creature - 2019)
My mother found a
rabid dog And wanted to hug it Wanted to give it all her glorious honeylove Wanted to bathe her children in a
two-parent household But, the
dog didn't want kids The
dog would scream it in the
hallway at four A.M Reminding us as often as possible The
sheer art of it How the
monster could panic into my body Sometimes I
still hear it in the
chambers of my heart The
way some glorious paintings stay with you I
am a
museum I
must be a
museum When I
was seven, the
dog told me I
was going to be a
slut No one came over to our house to play The
dog made me write, "I will flush the
bathroom toilet" seventy-five times I
would've remembered to flush the
toilet But, I
started blacking out around then Forgetting basic things Started praying that Oprah would save us all I
took snapshots with my memory camera Hoping there would be justice for this kind of psycho warfare The
teachers at the
daycare offered apology eyes and extra sequins For the
art project The
day after, the
dog chased me around each room Because I
forgot where my other shoe was When you are a
child And your mind is panicked like a
fire alarm at all times You lose the
ability to remember simple things I
haven't lost a
personal item in months Do not laugh when I
say, 'This is a
victory' Shame is an ocean I
swim across Sometimes, I
call it drowning Sometimes, I
call it Moses Sometimes, I
say, "Good morning!" and sway to its murky durge Sometimes, I
win and cut off its crest with a
pink machete Sometimes, I
want to fuck it and Marry it and kill it all at the
same time Sometimes, I
spend my whole day apologizing on shame's behalf Sometimes, I
think it must be an art form to feel this bad Sometimes, I
outrun all of its psycho history Other times, I
repeat the
language from my childmouth While beating my head against a
wall But all the
time I
am forgiven