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Stay At Home Dad
Alright baby girl, let me sing it to you You're getting your degree, you're going to college I'm making music hoping that Kanye puts me on But if I
don't make it baby, would you be mad at me If I
just chilled at home as your stay-home daddy? Come on, I'll make you coffee (coffee), and a
bagel (bagel) And another bagel (2 bagels) Keep on reading that paper, then it's off you go Hun you're gonna be late, don't forget your briefcase, drive safe, (peace babe) Wake up the
kids, toast the
toast, put the
Raisin Bran up in the
bowl The
toast... did I
forget the
toast? The
toast is toast, damnit I
burnt the
toast Start crying, the
kid's like, "Dad what's wrong?" Oh, it's not you, kids It's me. I'm just alone... Papa's a
little bit stressed out, fuck! Feeling so sensitive, I'm going for a
latte, see what's popping at pilates Hit up my friends like, "Yo what up man, you tryna have a
spa day?" The
fuck? You're a
stay-at-home dad... that's not gay! Ay, ay, ay, ay, you go to work, I'll mow the
lawn Ay, ay, ay, ay, you make the
cheese I'll bring the
guac (Nacho Sauce, Spanish) Ay, ay, ay, ay, you buy the
clothes, I'll take them off JNCOS! FUBU! Ay, ay, ay, ay, I'm a
stay-at-home dad, this is my job You go girl, get that promotion I'll be on the
sofa, collecting unemployment Yelling at the
TV, watching Maury Povich Quit groping that girl, Maury Povich Who's this Shelly Jones bitch? Shit it's 4
o'clock time for Oprah (Oprah) The
gospel of the
Lord, for dads who stay-at-home Even though we can't get boners We still watch Rachel Ray and Emeril cook lasagna Swoopin up the
kids from soccer practice (soccer practice) Then time for gymnastics, rice crispy treats and wax baggies I'm with my kids in the
mini-van, listening to NPR With the
windows down, through the
cul-de-sac Then it's homework, dinner time, set the
placemats Cook, clean, tuck the
rugrats in blankets Then I
lay you down, pop two Cialis, put on Sting And go and quench my palette Is that douche, or does your cooch just smell like flowers? Your feet are calloused, peppermint towlette Jasmine pedicure? Scented oil, homeopathic backrub? I
am Aladdin, your carpet's magic, your wish has been granted (freaky-deeky) I
would just like to ride your carpet outside of the
palace Now keep bringing home the
"green" baby, and I'll keep on tossing the
salad Ay, ay, ay, ay, you go to work, I'll mow the
lawn Ay, ay, ay, ay, you make the
cheese I'll bring the
guac (Nacho Sauce, Spanish) Ay, ay, ay, ay, you buy the
clothes, I'll take them off JNCOS! FUBU! Ay, ay, ay, ay, I'm a
stay-at-home dad, this is my job Ladies and gentlemen, we have been, conditioned to believe That we must fit in a
role? Brainwashed by Babylon Into thinking our role must match our genitalia, hell to the
no It's men who go to work, and women raise the
children, but I
know The
hardest job is maintaining the
household So I
am doing a
back-to-back, no tradebacks, with this briefcase For 2010, I
am staying at home
完毕